23 things I know at 23
Things I believe in, things I’ve learned, and things I will never forget.
I turned 23 on a breezy but warm October morning.
Although I had my annually scheduled birthday cry, I think back on it as a good day — one filled with joy and music and laughter, one spent with people I love.
It’s been a few weeks now.
I don’t know if it’s the frontal lobe development or a higher power just wanting to keep things interesting, but it’s been volatile and overwhelming. I have cried at least 23 times.
Change is a constant, but it’s been a little -too- constant.
To ground myself, I have started compiling things I know: things I believe in, things I’ve learned, and things I will never forget. Here’s to 23; hopefully, the next eleven months will be better than this one.
Occasionally, the best course of action is to light a candle, curl up into a ball, and cry for a little while.
You can confidently wear a skirt. Nobody is looking at you. And if they are — who cares?
Using a Tik Tok trend to romanticize your life is perfectly acceptable when it feels like everything is going to shit. Nobody has to know you are pretending to be the main character in a rom-com.
If a person really cares about you, they won’t put you last. If they wanted to, they would. You were never their priority if you asked them to be somewhere at a specific time, and they showed up hours later.
Baseball is indescribably tied to New York. A Subway World Series would have brought the city to life in a way we haven’t seen since before the pandemic. Maybe next year.
The part-time job you are doing to help make some extra money before graduation and real life does not define you. Stop letting it stress you out.
Playing video games is an acceptable way to destress after someone yells at you at work. Go buy that cozy game.
Grieving a pet is like no other pain you have ever felt. It’s waiting for the sound of his paws pittering against the floor when you come home or the jingle of his collar when you open the fridge. It’s your eyes playing tricks when you enter a room, thinking you see them lying on the couch or waiting by the back door. It’s rushing inside and avoiding eye contact when you see someone with their dog because you would do anything for one more — one more walk, one more cuddle, one more day.
You don’t hate your natural hair. You don’t love it just yet, but you don’t hate it. Progress.
Regret is a normal part of grief. Feeling like you didn’t do enough or weren’t good enough means you love so thoroughly that you would give your whole being if you could.
Your writing is whatever you want it to be. That’s why it’s yours. And just because it’s not severe news reporting or life-changing prose does not mean it is not good or not important.
Some people need to get over themselves. However, you don’t have to be the person who assists them in doing that.
Self-care is supposed to be fun and for your well-being. It doesn’t have to look aesthetic to work.
School can be all-consuming. It can drain you and bring you back from the dead, all in one class period. It doesn’t matter if you used to love it or if your grades are high. Sometimes, it feels like a never-ending marathon, where you are pushing through molasses to get to the finish line. If you feel like the only way through is to count down the days till graduation, then do that. Turn off the noise of people saying, ‘Enjoy it while it lasts.’ You can get through this.
You don’t have to hide that you like certain things because of others’ irrelevant opinions. Own your shit.
Apricity is the feeling of the sun’s warmth on cold days.
It is okay to mourn someone you have never met, someone who made mistakes, or someone whom you have distanced yourself from. Love is confusing and powerful.
Get the coffee. The world is boiling, we are descending into fascism, and the job market is a mess. If a chai latte is the only thing keeping you from sobbing on the corner of 14th Street, then it should count as a necessity on your taxes.
When you are feeling disgusting and ugly and that no one will ever find you attractive, you usually just need to wash your hair.
While not scientifically proven, sometimes the witchy, herbalist content on TikTok makes you feel a little more connected to the world.
Spotify stops collecting data on October 31st every year. This does not need to impact what music you listen to.
Nostalgia is a powerful emotion. It’s okay to sit with it and remember when things were different. Look through the photos, read the journal entries, and scroll through old social media posts. Rinse and repeat until you can smile instead of cry.
“You don't have to be sorry for leaving and growing up” — Matilda, Harry Styles.
the greatest lessons learned :) 🤍