Becoming the Ultimate Female Main Character

Come with me to learn how to knife-throw and become the protagonist I had always wished to be.

Women in books are always so badass. They are resilient and robust and are not to be trifled with. They can change the tide of a battle with their morals, strength, and wit. They can fight silently but ferociously in the dark and command armies from the backs of dragons in the light, while still having enough time to save their usually brooding love interest from the clutches of danger. And they do this generally with their hair down. Female main characters consistently do it better. 

Photo by Ricardo Cruz on Unsplash

For most of my life, I have been striving (and failing) to become the ultimate female main character. I have read all the source material– dozens of fantasy, science fiction, and dystopian novels. I convinced my parents to sign me up for horseback riding and archery lessons as a kid, although I was not great at either. I became a black belt at 13 because it felt like something Annabeth Chase or Lara Croft would do.  I even had an odd obsession with combat boots in middle school, just in case I needed extra traction when a troll attacked me in the girls' bathroom. However, there was one thing I was missing. In many of my favorite stories, the female protagonist’s weapon of choice is a cryptic collection of throwing knives. To ascend to the throne of badass women, I had to master this skill. 

So, this weekend, I ventured out into the great unknown (New Jersey) to learn how at Bury the Hatchet– an axe-throwing experience space that had expanded to encompass a variety of hurling weapons, including spears, ninja stars, and of course, knives. I also brought my love interest along with me for the adventure, although he is less brooding and more happy-go-lucky. 

When we first walked in, I was a little uncomfortable. The walls and ceiling were covered in wood paneling, like my grandmother's basement circa- 1980s, and there were half a dozen sports banners pinned across the tops of metal barriers, which separated each throwing lane. It smelled like forest, smoke, and Axe body spray. It felt too rugged for my feminine hero's journey. Thankfully, once the instructor, AJ, a younger man in a stereotypical plaid flannel and blue jeans, led us over to one of the lanes, I began to feel comfortable, especially since the only people around us were an intoxicated bachelorette party in matching sparkly outfits, whipping large tomahawks at the painted boards. 

 I had the challenge of choosing between three different types of knives but selected the ones that looked the most like what Netflix uses in their action movies–sleek black with a sturdy, long handle. Together, we walked around the lane. I took notice of the first aid kits clipped to the side of the fence-like barrier, just in case.

 AJ took his time setting up the knives on the rack next to me and then prompted me to copy his stance– right leg in the back, left in the front, slightly bent, and on the red line. The instructor showed me a few ways to hold the blades and then let me get a feel for the movement of throwing the blade without letting go. And then AJ clasped his hands together and said go for it. 

 I, like many fictional women before me, threw the knife. Unlike those inspirational characters, my knife bounced off the floor mats and crashed into the side barrier. AJ advised me on my movements, helping me keep the blade pointing out and not releasing too soon, and then left me to my own devices. 

I felt kind of abandoned. I had started a potentially murderous activity less than ten minutes ago, and the wise teacher who was supposed to help me on my journey just left me to play with some very sharp objects. This is not how the story was supposed to go. But I was not going to give up just yet. 

For the next fifteen minutes, I threw knife after knife, barely grazing the target but denting my ego. AJ had stopped by occasionally to check up on me, but his advice consisted of keeping my eyes on the target and stepping into my stance more, so I started to tune him out a little. Then, finally,  like the gods of fantasy romance novels had come down and granted me a wish, I hit the target. It's not the bullseye, but I hit something. It would have caused some damage to a monster or an evil Fae. Plus, I needed the win. I was overheating and in desperate need of some water, which I had forgotten to bring. 

I sat for a few moments and relaxed. I popped into the bathroom to splash some water on my face and have a classic mirror pep talk.  I still had thirty minutes left of my session and was determined to make the absolute most of it. 

This time around, I took a deep breath, stretched out my arms, and got back into my now well-practiced stance. I pinched the handle and let my elbow fall over my shoulder, ready to throw. With my eyes on the target, I swung my arm forward, keeping my chest straight and stepping into my right foot. My blade went flying, and like it did in every movie, stabbed the center of the board perfectly. The screech I let out was inhuman. Everyone in the room gave me a sideways look and went back to their throwing. AJ, who finally remembered we were here, came to congratulate me. I was well on my way to becoming the hero of my dreams. 

I continued this trend, repeatedly hitting the board and the occasional bullseye until our time ended. There was something so compelling about it. When I picked up each knife, I could almost zone out the noises of the giggling bachelorette party or the fake lumberjack guys hanging out by the front desk. I loved the feeling of the rigid handle in my hand, rubbing it between my fingers until my grip felt right. The slight sound of the blade swishing through the air and the thump of the board was intoxicating. When the blade hit just right, the painted wood chips would sprinkle on the floor like confetti tossed just for my victory. 

 I finally understood why this skill was so popular amongst female protagonists. It was exhilarating yet peaceful. Fluid yet strong. It felt like I could take on the world with just a few tosses of a sturdy blade. Honestly, I had never felt so cool in my life. 

I may have unlocked the tiniest bit of badassery that my female heroes had.